20 Days
Twenty days until I turn thirty six
Is this the prime of my life?
Soul searching for clarity
Intrusive thoughts spin out and spin me up in misdirection
Google served as a sobering correction
36 is not a prime number
To believe in a lie would be a sublime
and a supreme waste of time
But yet the thoughts linger and tickle the back of the mind
The words sit and dangle at the back of my throat
And. They. Won't. Come. Out.
20 days
This page is nothing more than a empty stage
These words, bit players in a monologue deranged
The lies continue to press upon me with their incessant and irresistible rage
20 days
You're not good enough, I hear on the inside of my outer mind
Too skinny, too small
No one wants to reads these things
These words, the lies I've been forced to endure
And the panic that almost nearly seems to ensure that I won't make it
Until I fake it
20 days
My goal was to be the best that I could be
To have my words be the truest part of me
I believe I have succeeded in that goal
No matter how desperately the lies try to extinguish the poet's soul
In the dimming night now
Awakened by the penful light that is the only way that I can see now
To be prime is to be alive
That'll have to be enough
This truth breaks through the intrusive haze
It is a blessing to be turning 36 in twenty days

It’s funny I should read this when I’m turning 32 in 20 days! More time on Earth is always a blessing! ❤️